- The emotion of hate; a feeling of dislike so strong that it demands action
- Dislike intensely; feel antipathy or aversion towards
I hate him with his rich lifestyle
I hate her shoes
I hate you because you are fat
I hate you because you are french
I hate you because you are black or white
I hate you because you are a beggar
I hate you because you are playing music I don’t like
I hate your hair
I hate her laugh
I hate the clothes he wears
I hate this tv program
I hate when you smile at me
I hate you because you are catholic
I just hate you
Why do we hate? What is hate? Well, hate is just another word with four letters, made up of two consonants and two vowels, but think about this: When you were born, who did you hate? Stop. Think Carefully. I didn’t hate anybody, did you? So let’s ask an easy question of each other. What has changed since we were born?
Well, from my point of view, the only thing that has changed is that my mind has been filled up with knowledge, conditioning, experience and memory.
Everything you were when you were born you still are. The only thing that has changed is the content of your mind. So, perhaps we can agree that hate is all in the mind? It’s not something real (although you may hate someone so much, you may kill him; that’s pretty real!). But hate itself is nothing but an image, a story, a conversation. Hate is just a mass of connections in the brain, that’s all it is. Unfortunately for us, once all the wiring is complete it is hard to track back and rewire it, but we can but try. So let us now begin our discussion in earnest.
What is it about the british or the americans that so many people “hate” at the moment? They may have never met anyone from either country but no, they “hate americans.”
I have heard it so many times over the last few years that it is starting to annoy me, especially as I have a good friend who is american, and I certainly can’t see why anyone would hate him. He is friendly, thoughtful, kind, does lots of voluntary work and plenty else. Why would you hate him?
“Because,” begins the brain, “he is part of the imperialist capitalist consumer society that is taking over the world, they make me sick, damned americans with their big cars, loud talk, oh they’re so arrogant, it’s like they think they know everything, and they’re always right….”
Ok that’s a lot of hate! So I think it’s time we pick up the phone and talk to someone who hates america and americans.
Me: Hello, my name’s alan, I’m phoning to talk to you about america, and why you hate it so much.
Mr hate: Oh yes, I’ve been expecting your call. You english?
Me: Scottish actually, but I grew up in england.
Mr hate: You are just as bad as the americans.
Me: Oh, why?
Mr hate: You and your imperialist ways you took over the world and made people suffer for your greed.
Me: Actually, that’s not entirely true. I had nothing to do with british imperialism, I am only 38, have no money to speak of, and care neither one way or the other for the country.
Mr hate: Yes, but you’re still a british citizen. By being british you are responsible for all the deeds that your country has done in the world. That is why you must pay.
Me: That’s a bit strong. I think what britain did in the past was terrible, but that is past. Now is now and I have nothing to do with the past.
Mr hate: But don’t you see. No one has paid the price for all the killing, torture and rape that your people did to my country.
Me: But it is past. Sorry can I ask you how old you are?
Mr hate: I’m twenty four.
Me: Twenty four! But you’re even younger than me. The british were long gone by the time you were born. You live now, not in the past.
Mr hate: But the suffering continues, because of british imperialism.
Me: So you keep saying. But listen. How do you know that your country is suffering because of the british?
Mr hate: It is obvious.
Me: Well not to me. Who told you about british imperialism and all the atrocities that were carried out by them?
Mr hate: It is written in many books, we have learned in school and our parents still remember what the british did.
Me: So what you’re saying is, you have had memories planted in your mind by people who did suffer and want revenge?
Mr hate: No, that’s not what I’m saying. I am saying that the british must pay for what they did to us.
Me: So what you’re saying is, the collective memory of the people, written into books and told in class has been imprinted on your memory by people who want you to take revenge on the british?
Mr hate: My father was murdered by the british, isn’t that enough?
Me: For you to hate? Yes, probably. But do you hate all british, or just the soldier who killed your father?
Mr hate: All british, they represent everything that is bad in the world.
Me: But do you hate me?
Mr hate: Why do you ask?
Me: Well, it seems as if we’re having a nice conversation here, and you sound like a nice man, I was just wondering if you hated me?
Mr hate: I am sure you are a nice man too, and no, I don’t personally hate you, I just hate the british.
Me: So this british thing is a concept? You don’t hate me personally just the idea of britain?
Mr hate: Yes. That’s true. I have nothing against you. But my father was killed by the british and they must pay for that.
Me: But if you kill someone, their family will suffer.
Mr hate: Why not? My family has suffered.
Me: But that’s just revenge, not hate. Look let’s get back to what you were saying about the idea of the british. What is it precisely that you hate?
Mr hate: Everything. Their arrogant attitudes, their rich lifestyles, their army, their politicians.
Me: Have you ever been to britain?
Mr hate: No. I would never go.
Me: Ok, what about if I swapped lives with you, and I came to live in your country for a while. Do you think I would hate britain then?
Mr hate: No. Because you are british.
Me: So actually it is not the people at all. It is the nation, the country, the flag, and what it represents that you hate.
Mr hate: Exactly.
Me: But the flag is nothing more than a piece of cloth. The country name is just a label. Underneath we are all just people together. The concept that the flag represents has nothing to do with real people; it exists whether we are here or not, because the powerful keep it going. So is it not power that you hate?
Mr hate: Yes I hate everything about power, the powerful, they killed my father.
Me: But aren’t there powerful people in your country as well, keeping the flag flying and brainwashing everyone to believing in the “nation.”
Mr hate: I guess there are, it’s true, I hadn’t thought about it like that before.
Me: So do you now still hate all british.
Mr hate: I just miss my father.
Me: I know you do. Take care.
Mr hate: You too, goodbye.
So, before you go around hating people just because their passport says they come from a specific country try to have a conversation like that with yourself. Write it down and see why you hate. Remember we are here to unravel hate in your mind.
I did not choose to be british. I was born and assigned a label, thanks to my parents being labelled some years before. If I had my way, there would be no separate nations, as it only causes fear and division, and if I could give up my passport today I would. But until all countries start accepting we are all citizens of the world and we don’t need “official papers” to travel on our own planet, I will have to hang onto mine for now.
But I will be trying to find a way to give up citizenship of any country and still be able to travel. I will let you know how I get on. But let us get back to our discussion.
We can now see that hate does not exist in one form. It is the accumulation of different processes, stories, teaching, propaganda, experience, and memory (whether yours or not), and it is only when all of these different items come together, in just the right amounts, that hate is formed.
But we must become aware of it straight away before it takes root.
Some people hate others because they are rich, but let’s examine for a moment why you would hate someone just because they had more money than you. First, jealousy has come into play. You are jealous because you are poor. Then greed comes into play, because you want more than you already have, and finally comparing, where you compare your lifestyles, and see that his is better than yours. So rather than (a) just letting it go and being happy with your life or (b) going out to work to earn more money than him, you “hate him” because it’s easy, and it makes you feel good.
Think about it, it’s really quite simple. We don’t hate anyone, as hate in itself does not exist. It is a cauldron mixed with many ingredients heated to just the right temperature; but if you look closely, you will find some key ingredients every time.
Imagine you split up from your husband or wife, why do so many people hate their “ex’s”? What is it about finishing a relationship with somebody you loved, that you went on so many holidays, and shared so many good times with, that can end up with you saying “I hate him.” Well let’s explore it.
If he finished with you, there is the obvious sadness that it is finished, but the fact you were left leads to resentment and hurt, and if he has someone else, then obviously jealousy comes into it. How could somebody you loved do this to you? You loved them and this is how they repaid you! I hate him, for leaving me, I hate him for running off with another woman. But can you see that hate is just a word? It is not real, it is the feelings behind the word that are real, and like my friend who hated britain, once we had explored it enough we found out the root cause of it (the loss of his father) – that actually, he hated no one.
We have to do the same in every situation that we find ourselves saying “I hate,” because once it takes hold, it’s hard to uproot; remember that. So before it does, look deeply into the situation causing the word “hate” to be emitted, and write a conversation with the hated object. You might find out more about yourself than you know.
You don’t hate anyone, I am sure of it. Just as I don’t hate anyone. But I did. At least I thought I did until I found out I was hurt, or jealous, and then I dealt with those feelings by going through the process of becoming aware of my emotions and thoughts. I urge you to do the same before anyone else gets hurt.
We are all human, we are all members of the same species. A monkey doesn’t hate a monkey. A lion doesn’t hate a lion. It is thought that creates hate, and when we stop thinking so much, and take the time to do some exploring, then perhaps we will stop hating. Try it.
Remember, hate is just a word made up from two vowels and two consonants, and although the feelings behind are more complex, even a simple word can cause a lot of pain to others – physical and emotional.
Empty your mind of the word. Allow yourself to be the love that you are.
By Alan Macmillan Orr
” The Natural Mind – Waking Up”