- The generic use of the word to refer to any human being
- An adult person who is male (as opposed to a woman)
Men may hate, and start wars
Women may love, and cry for them
But there is still no division
When I first started to lay out this book three years ago, I had men and women as a separate topic. I planned to explore the differences between the sexes, but recently I decided that if I was going to explore this topic correctly, men and women should come under the same heading. You see most people like to “celebrate the differences” between the sexes, or at the very least, compare them. But I don’t want to do that, I want to understand the similarities with you and find out how we could have become so divided.
“But men and women are different,” I hear you cry. “They are so different.” “Men will never understand women and vice versa, that’s just the way it is,” and other statements of the conditioned mind. So let’s begin shall we? Let’s find out what it really means to be human underneath all the labels we give to each other.
Which do you have – a penis or a vagina?
Biologically, this is where the main differences lie. One sex provides the means by which the egg is fertilised, and the other bears the children. This process, (if you don’t know already) is made possible by the male achieving an erection and inserting it into the women’s vagina. Some minutes later, the male ejaculates, and millions of sperm swim for their lives to achieve their only purpose – find and egg and fertilise it. If the woman is in the correct phase of ovulation this egg will become a fully fledged member of the human species in about nine months. Ok? Everybody understand?
When the child is born the woman will feed the baby from special milk through the mammary glands (milk-secreting organ of female mammals). End of biology lesson one.
But let’s look a bit closer at the sexes shall we? Let’s try to see what is underneath the sexual functions.
Well to start with, both sexes have a skeleton (the hard structure (bones and cartilages) that provides a frame for the body of an animal), both have muscles and sinew (a cord or band of inelastic tissue connecting a muscle with its bony attachment), both have a central nervous system (the portion of the vertebrate nervous system consisting of the brain and spinal cord). With me so far? Both species have a digestive system (the system that makes food absorbable into the body) and both have the same system to excrete urine (liquid excretory product) and faeces (solid excretory product evacuated from the bowels). They both have a heart (the hollow muscular organ located behind the sternum and between the lungs; its rhythmic contractions move the blood through the body) and they both have lungs (the hollow muscular organ located behind the sternum and between the lungs; its rhythmic contractions move the blood through the body), and last but not least, they both have a brain (that part of the central nervous system that includes all the higher nervous centres; enclosed within the skull; continuous with the spinal cord). End of biology lesson two.
So we can see that apart from the obvious sexual reproductive systems, the sexes are identical (I can hear some anatomists standing up wanting to correct me). Sure, there may be some cosmetic hormonal differences I grant you, maybe the hips are a bit wider in a woman so she can give birth more easily, but basically we are both the same structurally. So why are we so different?
Well, let’s look at the basic biological roles of each of the sexes. If we look at other mammals we can see that it is the male who goes out to hunt and bring back the food, and the female generally stays and nurtures the young. The male is generally larger and stronger than the female as he is the one responsible for protecting the family from predators, and the human species is no different.
For a period of time, the male needs to provide support for the family, and protect it from harm, and the female performs her biological duties of breast feeding (or somewhat strangely, buying milk from corporations), and creating the mother-child bond to give the infant security, the ability to recognise his mother, and his own species, and generally nurture the child until it is old enough to look after itself.
Humans have an incredibly long childhood with them, not leaving the nest until at least eighteen, and normally early to mid twenties, when they move out to a place of their own, or get married. This is not biological, but social, as they reach “maturity” much earlier (physically, not psychologically).
The mind, as we know, takes much longer to develop than the body. So the women (and the men) are stuck with a child (or children) who is physically mature enough to have children of its own, but psychologically not yet ready for the society we have created. In fact, as my own parents have found out, nurturing a human child can take a lifetime! End of biology lesson three.
Man the hunter – deceased
If we believe that men are the ones who have the biological hunting role, life must seem strange for them these days. They are no longer hunters and they no longer even have to bring in the food, as women have been handed the role of doing the shopping. They no longer have to protect their family in the same way, as we have no other predators to speak of, and we have a fully equipped police force and army to deal with any danger. So what does man do?
It seems that for many thousands of years now, his strict biological role has been in decline so, you can see how confusing it must be for the biological systems. Suddenly, man has no firm role. Agriculture and large scale industrial farming has taken the place of hunting, and although men have to go out to work, it’s to earn money to buy the food, not or grow it, catch it., or gather it. We have found ourselves in a very tricky predicament haven’t we?
So what to do with all that excess energy? What to do with those fast twitching muscles, adrenaline and fight or flight mechanisms? You can’t just turn them off, these are evolutionary adaptations developed over several million years. There is so much pent up energy in the male body that something has to be done to release it.
So one thing man does, is to go out and hunt other humans instead! We may think that war is a terrible blight on the face of humanity, but let’s face it, man is just doing what he does best, hunting prey and killing it. The only thing he falls short of is eating it. After all, it’s inhuman to eat another member of your own species, but killing them is acceptable.
So here he is, the great hunter with too much time on his hands coupled with a large brain, surely a recipe for disaster.
Man has constantly craved power and wealth, and seeks to dominate all around him especially women. But I don’t blame men for it, they just haven’t got a clue what they’re doing! Their systems are in so much conflict, that maybe we should just feel sorry for them.
Let’s play some sport
So if we haven’t got anything to hunt, because we now get our food from agriculture, and we can’t just go around killing anyone we feel like, how do we get rid of this energy?
Well, as we see all over the world, man hunts animals for sport, but now it’s a little one sided! Gone are the days when men were outmatched by the strength speed and agility of animals, now all it takes is a rifle or shotgun aimed from a great distance and BLAM! The shot is fired, and the animal goes down. The hunters congratulate each other on a great days sport, but even if they eat the animals, there is something a little unsettling about using a long range weapon to kill an unsuspecting animal – surely that’s not sport.
The romans had it right. They built great arenas where condemned men would be “thrown to the lions,” and people would cheer as the poor men unsuccessfully fought off the great beasts! Then there was chariot racing (a two-wheeled horse-drawn battle vehicle; used in war and races in ancient egypt and greece and rome), and last but not least, the star of the show, the gladiator ((ancient rome) a professional combatant or a captive who entertained the public by engaging in mortal combat). This was great entertainment right enough. People forced to fight in an arena to the death. There was no referee to stop the fight if things got nasty, just one rule, fight to the death!
And as the victor drove his sword into the losers chest, and he gasped his final breath on this earth, the crowd cheered, and cheered. This, my friends, is men’s idea of fun!
Of course, we don’t have anything like that now, no sir, we aren’t savages you know! Now, two men go into a ring with the sole intention of knocking the other one down, except this time they wear gloves so they don’t smash each others skulls in, and there is a referee on hand to stop the fight if there is too much blood.
The crowd (mostly male) shout and cheer as the defeated boxer is left unconscious on the mat. We may even have won a bit of money by putting a little bet on.
We return home feeling satisfied. We may not have been in the ring, but the adrenaline we used shouting and cheering was enough to leave us tired and ready for bed.
“Did you have a fun evening” your wife asks you.
“Yeah it was great!” you reply. It may not have been ancient rome, but it was close enough.
It is funny to note that boxing is an accepted sport in the world where men agree that it is better that someone beats someone up in a ring than on the streets! The difference, please? Oh yes, sorry; one is sport where you can win money or a medal, the other is assault, and you can win yourself a jail sentence!
Of course not all sport is as bloodthirsty as boxing; we also engage in rugby and football, where the aim of the game is to get a small ball into the other team’s goal, and if we manage it, the crowds go wild! There is shouting and singing, and baiting of the other teams supporters, and we may even engage in physical violence against them, it all depends on how we are feeling!
We love to cheer our team on don’t we. We want to see them win! We want to see the other team “defeated.” We may not be on the pitch but we can feel the adrenaline coursing through our veins as if we were playing. If we are successful we go back home with our male urges satisfied.
Some sports don’t require us to compete in a team, but individually such as running, hammer throwing, javelin etc. but the object is still to win – to be the fastest, or the one with the longest throw, or jump, and once again the crowds cheer us on. Winning, that is all that’s important.
So perhaps modern day sports aren’t so far removed from the games of ancient rome, they are just should we say “different” in that the aim is just the beating your opponent not actually killing him.
My team vs. your team, my gun against the deer, my boxer vs. your boxer, my country vs. your country. We love sport don’t we! It keeps us alive. It makes us feel as if we are back a million years, out hunting animals for something to eat. Except we aren’t. We are a modern animal with no need to hunt anymore, so we find our “pleasure” or at least find a way to release built up energy in other ways, but the motivation is the same. To hunt. To subdue the prey. We have just invented a modern way to do it.
The fairer species
“Oh, she looks just lovely” you say, as you see your daughter all dressed up in her wedding dress ready to be “given away” (as if she were an offering) to the man she loves. She has beautiful hair, beautiful make-up and she looks so elegant. You feel so proud. You have brought up this young girl to be a woman, and now she will start a family of her own.
Back in the old days when the role of a woman was clearly defined as the bearer and nurturer of the children things were a lot easier. Neither the male brain nor the female brain had developed its higher abilities, and we were just like the animals. We had sex, the woman got pregnant, the man brought in the food and the women prepared it and looked after the children. Easy! But as our minds developed, and we created modern societies, something changed.
The woman’s mind is inquisitive as the man’s, she yearns to find out more, to understand, like men do, but her role has been cast in stone, by men, at the time of the cavemen. It’s no wonder that women want to go out to work and to be “equal” to men because funnily enough, they are.
Men have always called women the weaker, or fairer sex, but just because they don’t have the same size frame or muscle density that men have, doesn’t mean they are not as capable of doing exactly what men do (and better). Whilst in thailand recently I noticed that most of the workers on one building site were women, something that would never be allowed in western society.
“Women are here to look after the house and the children. It is their role,” say the men. But in asia, I noticed women out working in the fields with their infants on their backs (and probably going home to cook the dinner and look after the house after work).
Roles? What roles?
So why is it that we have such a division of the sexes? Why are women deemed to be weak and helpless? It is obvious to me, from observing women in many countries, that they have the same abilities as men. Ok, so they may not be able to lift quite as much as men, but what does that matter?
Unfortunately women have been stereotyped by men in an attempt to subdue them and control them just as they used to subdue their prey.
Women have been brought up playing with dolls and “girly” things to make them think they are different to men. “Girls wear pink and are princesses,” says your mother as she starts her motherly duty of conditioning you to your fate. “One day you will meet a nice man, and he will sweep you off your feet and marry you.” That is what you’ve got to look forward to.
Even in an age where parents say that education is important, they still hope their daughters will be married off to some wealthy man who will “provide” for her and the children.
All she will have to do is spend a lifetime doing washing and cleaning and looking after the kids. And she should be happy! Because the man is “providing” for her, so she never has to worry about anything!
Poor weak women. They can’t do anything on their own. They have to spend their childhoods wrapped up in cotton wool, just in case! But what nonsense is this? This is man’s nonsense. This is ideology created by powerful men who want to remain powerful. Men who want to rule and conquer, men like the heads of the church and other religious organisations, men who tell their women to “cover up,” men who want their children to remain virgins until they are “married.”
Let’s face it, men just want to rule everything, and they won’t let anyone get in their way, especially, the fairer sex.
In victorian times, in britain, women were told “this is men’s talk!” and they were sent off to talk about how pretty the curtains were in the dining room, whilst the men went off to talk about politics and war! What would women know of such things? They were here to bear children and keep the house clean, that was all. Oh, and to look pretty for their husbands. It makes me sick to even think of men at the moment, and I’m a man!
As we saw in the first paragraph, men and women are almost identical. But I think at one time they even said that women’s brains were smaller! Even if it could be true physically, psychologically there is no difference. It’s just that men want them to be different. They want women to be weaker because it gives them power.
More recently women have woken up to this, and have demanded a bit more equality, especially after they noticed they were being paid less than men and not reaching the positions men had. But can you not understand why? Men don’t want women anywhere near their power structure so they invent all sorts of idiotic reasons why men are better equipped for high powered work than women. Unfortunately, women have had to start behaving like men in order to acquire these positions which is a shame, but understandable.
So women! Who are you? What’s your role in life? Is it to grow up wearing dresses and playing with dolls, careful not to get any scratches on you in case you blemish your perfect skin? Are you destined to become a wife of a man, and “bear him” children? Are you someone else’s property? Are you a lesser homo sapiens than a male? I think not.
And how many women start pub fights, go to boxing matches or start wars. Ok, so some do, but that is probably because their mind is telling them that in order to compete with men they have to act like them. So women join the army etc. but it is still men who are in charge.
Wherever you look in the world there is a powerful man standing over everyone, especially women. He may say he agrees with more equality for women, but only if it doesn’t compromise his position of power.
To see where we have all gone wrong, we are going to have to look to our friend conditioning.
As soon as a child is born, he or she starts being conditioned by his or her parents. Men want a boy so they can carry the on family name (and genes), and women want girls so they can have someone to share “girly” experiences with, someone who will one day be a “wife” (what an aspiration), and society backs them up with media conditioning, educational conditioning and religious conditioning.
And from day one they become “Male” or “Female.” I am not talking about their biological sex either. Each of the sexes comes with a whole host of expectations from parents, because they “know” what a boy should “be” and what a girl should “be.” For example, boys should wear blue, and girls wear pink. Girls should play with dolls, and boys should play with action figures. Girls should play soft games and boys should play rough games – and woe betide any child who crosses these boundaries.
Girls and boys should stay in their own compartments during the conditioning process in case anything goes wrong. Girls must wear dresses, boys must wear trousers. Girls who want to play rugby are ridiculed as being less than female, and boys who want to learn ballet are ridiculed as being less than male. But what is ridiculous to me is how stupid parents are that they just allow their children to be conditioned like this (oh, I forgot, they have been conditioned which is a form of brainwashing).
Who says a boy can’t wear a dress! It was good enough for the romans and we saw how vicious they were. Who says a boy can’t do ballet? Some of the greatest dancers in the world have been men (sorry ladies).
But this is so much more than just what we wear or what we do, it is that thanks to conditioning we never really get to see individuals. Girls vs. boys. Always. And that, sadly is one of the greatest divisions of all.
So who are the boys without the conditioning? Who are the girls without the conditioning? What if you don’t give your son an action figure or a police car to play with? Will he grow up to be less of a man? What if you don’t give your daughter a doll to play with, will she grow up to be less of a woman? Of course not. Remember the only difference is in sexual biology. Nothing more.
Ok, so women may be more emotional than men but again it is only the sexual hormones acting. When it comes down to it, we are all of the same mind.
“But surely, all a little girl dreams of is setting up home and getting married and looking after the house,” say some of you. But who tells her that is what she should do? You do! You the society. You the parent. You the magazines.
We all know that children’s minds are easily moulded and adults make the best of this by conditioning their children to conform to their expected roles in the society! Stop doing it. Stop forcing someone to be something they are not. In time, a boy will find a girl to make a child with. In time, a girl will find a boy to have a child with. That is as far as it goes. Do you not understand?
Biologists say we are a species which sets up pair-bonds for life, but that is just conditioning again.
When you are young, if someone tells you you will find someone and stay with them for the rest of your life, you believe them and you start preparing yourself for that role.
We all have the same mind, a universal mind. We are all capable of great learning and great discoveries. There is no sexual boundary, do you understand. The mind is open.
It is you the society who close it; who tell it how to act, what to do, what to say, and let’s face it, no one has a clue what the mind should be or could be, just how they want it to be, so that it fits in, it conforms to the society and everyone can say: “Oh, he’s such a nice man, he has a good job now and a lovely wife at home with the children! It makes me sick to think about what the powerful and the stupid have done with our children’s minds by brainwashing them into believing that they have to behave a certain way, because they are “female” as in “that’s not very lady-like.”
So what are “ladies” supposed to be like? Slim, well dressed, polite, able to talk about things but not too much, reserved? What utter nonsense, but it doesn’t mean they should try to be like boys either any more than boys should try to be like girls, do you see? In order to find out who men and women really are we must break through all the conditioning.
The battle of the sexes is all nonsense, a myth invented to keep us separate so that men could reign supreme. Self-help books will tell you there is no way men will ever understand women. What utter nonsense! Men don’t understand themselves, that is, their real selves, because they have been so conditioned in the society, and the same goes for women. These books will tell you “facts” about women and men, but they are not truth, they are books to help you live “happily” within your conditioned roles. Do you understand? They will tell you men are solution oriented and women just need someone to listen to them. They will help you solve relationship problems like “why does my man always leave the toilet seat up?” by explaining something in the man’s brain that is different to the women’s when the answer should be “because his dad left it up too!”
We must start to see that men and women are in relationship but not as a couple. That is just society telling us we should settle down and live with the same partner forever! Who says? Society does. It is no more biological than brushing your teeth!
We both contain an amazing mind, and although we both perform different functions during the child making, and rearing process, our minds are the same. We are both connected to the universal, we are both capable of great love and great compassion, but men have been conditioned to think that they should lock it up. Men have been conditioned to think that they are violent and war-like, but just because you have bigger muscles than females, doesn’t mean you are violent, or you like boxing or going hunting to explore your caveman past! That is society acting upon your mind.
And just because you may be slender in figure than men doesn’t mean you should be cleaning all day, changing nappies, and looking after your husband. Men don’t have to be more feminine, and women don’t have to be more masculine. The balance can only be found through deep awareness of self.
It is time to break free for all of us, but to do that we must challenge society. We must challenge the roles they have set for us. And most of all, we must challenge the powerful who set these roles. How do we do that? By using our minds. By opening them to insight. By allowing nature in.
And if you tell me here that you like your role in life, I will only have to assume you are happy to stay asleep forever.
Close the division
Challenge your role
Challenge your parents
Challenge your mind
by alan macmillan orr
“The Natural Mind-waking up”