DEFINITION
Sex
Activities associated with sexual intercourse
Having sex! It’s good isn’t it? When we have sexual intercourse, or to use a more polite term, “make love,” we feel pretty good about ourselves; and in the main, we are not doing it to reproduce, we are doing it because it gives us pleasure – pleasure for both partners, male and female (I am sure that people of the same sex have just as much pleasure). And the best thing is, it’s free; unless you are so desperate that you have to pay someone to have sex with.
Men think about sex a lot, they love to have sex; I know I do. When I have sex, my mind is clear in the moment; no stress, no problems, just unadulterated pleasure! And like most men, if I could have sex all the time, I would.
In the animal world, most animals only have sex to reproduce, whereas we have sex in the most part just for fun. Not because we want to show our partner how much we care about them, but purely to express our primeval self.
The scientists have said that the way that humans have sex is what sets us apart from the animals, giving the reason we are the only species to have sex face to face (apart from an ape relative, I believe), as other animals have sex from behind, but I would suggest to you that having sex is what makes us just like the animals in the world, whether we do it face to face or in any other position.
We like to think of ourselves as being superior to all other species in the world, and in many ways we are. We are aware of ourselves, we walk upright, we have articulate speech, and have superior intelligence. We can make tools, aeroplanes, rockets, guns, buildings that reach far into the sky. We can philosophise about life, we can study literature, write literature, and we can make complex calculations that help us to build bridges that span huge rivers; we can make decisions that affect the whole world.
We are powerful, intellectual beings, capable of great discoveries and inventions. We theorise about the nature of all things, such as the origins of the universe, and the existence of god. We stand in judgement of fallible men who steal, and kill, and go against our civilised societies, and we imprison them, or kill them. We have morality and ethics. We have democracy and government. All in all, we are a pretty advanced civilisation, wouldn’t you say?
Yet sex is what brings the most moral of men down, the leaders of great nations; powerful church men, people in positions of authority and responsibility, people in positions of trust. We trust that these men (for it is mainly men) are above the “earthly desires” that us most mortal of men have.
We cannot control ourselves when it comes to having sex, if the opportunity arises, whether we are married with children, engaged to be married, single, or living with someone. It appeals to our natural self – the self whose purpose here on earth is to procreate, and spread its genes far and wide; just like all other creatures here on earth. We are no different in that respect, except we pretend we are.
We pretend we are not like the animals, that we are not a product of evolution, that we didn’t start as a simple organism, billions of years ago, and that the natural world exists independently and subordinately to us. We started just as we are now, they say. “Man was created in god’s image. Adam and eve were created by a divine power.”
But if you think about it carefully, sex is the one thing that shows us we are the end product of a long process, and no doubt will keep evolving for millions of years to come.
Let’s go into this together shall we?
If you look at two dogs having sex, or two cows, or two chimpanzees, do you see the similarity between them and us? Can you see the connection between two dogs having sex and you and your partner having sex? Can you see that in the moment, we are exactly the same?
For many centuries humans have tried to distance themselves from the animal kingdom, and rightly so! We are a breed apart, we have nothing in common with them, save the fact we share the planet.
Animals are here to be used by humans as food, pets, and whatever else we wish to do with them. We would never admit that we are actually just the same, except for the wonderful twist of fate which allowed us to walk upright, thereby freeing our hands; and the unlikely development of consciousness, which has made us what we are – homo sapiens; human.
In our desperate desire to become civilised (having a high state of culture and development both social and technological) we have pushed sex into the darkroom of life, something we know we all want but do not talk about. Sex has become a cause for embarrassment.
We all do it behind closed doors, and although your mum and dad do it, all your friends and family do it, your teachers, and your leaders do it, it is something that must never be discussed. We all know it is necessary for reproduction, we all know it gives us great pleasure, but please never talk about it.
Can you imagine your president or prime minister engaged in the act of sex? They encounter a woman, their eyes meet, the passion is inflamed, they grab at each other kissing passionately, and they quickly tear off their clothes, they kiss each other all over each others bodies, licking and biting playfully, she takes his penis in her mouth and he in turn licks her vagina. By now, his manhood is fully erect and he inserts it into her vagina. He pumps furiously, in out, in out, she moans and groans and lets out excited little screams of pleasure whilst he grunts. Their bodies are entwined with sweat glistening over their naked bodies. Soon she shudders and cries out as she has an orgasm, and shortly afterwards, the president, still pushing in and out, sweating and breathing heavily lets out a long moan and ejaculates into her vagina. They lie for a moment breathing heavily, their chests rising and falling, sweat dripping from their foreheads.
“Wow that was great!” they both say.
Shortly afterwards, the president goes back to the manly task of running the country, sending troops off to war, and talking about morality and the sanctity of marriage, thanking god for his wonderful wife, whilst all the time wondering how he will explain himself if he ever gets caught out!
Tell me, does this fictional little story not remind you of the animals? Can you see your primordial self within here, or does this story disgust and embarrass you?
How many times have we seen our leaders, or people in positions of responsibility, being caught out having sex with someone? There’s always some story in the news about a priest, politician, or teacher getting caught up in some “sex scandal,” at which point they come out and with head hung low, apologise for letting everyone down, promise never to do it again, say they love their wife, and they are very, very, very sorry!
Why do they do this? Because they are all preaching to us about morality (motivation based on ideas of right and wrong), and telling us how to live our lives, when what they should do is acknowledge that sex is a natural act, as we are, in fact, part of the animal kingdom and the natural world, and that there is nothing dirty, or disgusting with having sex, and that all the ideas of sex being only in the sanctity of marriage is pure dogma, and in fact, they do not practice it themselves. What an admission that would be!
What I am trying to discuss with you here is not the sex life of one fallible politician, it is to understand that we are a part of nature, that we are not above nature; and that sex is not something that shouldn’t be talked about, or hidden away. It is the most natural thing in the world. Two people who have primeval desires, who wish to express them with each other – whether married or not.
This is not about morals (which are only man-made rules), it is about acknowledging that sex is not something to be embarrassed about, or shut away, but solely a method for procreation in the natural world, and for us humans, probably the one pleasure that is out of the control of judges, politicians, religious leaders, teachers or parents.
It is something to be enjoyed with another, and we have to ask ourselves why anyone would want to control it, or teach people that it is something only to be enjoyed by a “married” couple. After all, marriage is just another way of controlling society.
I am sure some of you will be horrified by the way I have openly discussed sex (the insertion of the male penis into the female vagina), and you may wish to complain to someone that this kind of literature should not be made available on the shelf; that it should be kept out of the reach of children, and in fact probably shouldn’t have been written at all! That maybe I (as the writer) should be locked up for peddling this filth. But then you must examine your own attitudes to sex, and try to discover why you think it is “dirty,” or something not to be openly discussed; after all, billions of people are doing it every minute of the day.
Parents, teachers, and all those in positions of responsibility try to condition us to thinking a certain way, but if – as the previous example shows us – they cannot control their sexual urges, why should we?
It is not something that should be controlled or condemned, but expressed naturally. It is not even something that has to be between two people who love each other – again that is only a man-made idea.
Do you think chimpanzees who have sex “love” each other? “Love” is only emotional expression, nothing more spiritual than that.
The time has come when humans must admit, that although we have developed a more civilised society, which dictates that people can’t have sex in the streets with whoever they want, sex is a lot more civilised than killing people in war. Our attitude to sex is only conditioning, and when we break through that conditioning, we will realise, that although we are the most intelligent species on the planet, and must respect each others wishes with regards to sex, it is not what makes us human, it is what makes us animal.
Although it is probably quite frightening for most to think of ourselves as nothing more than animals, when it comes to the act of sex, there is nothing human in it all. Human qualities are of the mind – the awareness of self, the ability to show compassion for others, and the ability to use our imagination – sex is of the primal brain, the brain that runs on automatic pilot, that provides us with all our survival instincts; sex is one part of that.
In the act between two people who want to have sex with each other, awakening the animal within provides a welcome relief from being human, which is all about self-control and discipline, although the great thing about being human is that we have the ability to experience, enjoy, and understand this ancient animal urge.
Many people say that having sex is the one time they can lose control in life (just ask any politician or judge), so go on, enjoy having sex, in the understanding that is not something dirty or embarrassing, or immoral, but something so natural, the whole world have been doing it for millions of years. And next time you see two dogs having sex, remember, that underneath your fancy clothes, your important job and intellectual ideas, you are exactly the same as them.
by alan macmillan orr
‘the natural mind – waking up’
2009
