As I travel through my daily life in this world, I constantly see couples arguing, husbands belittling wives, wives crticising their partners, boyfriends threatening girlfriends…
We get involved romantically, emotionally, and sexually with people we re attracted to…
Why we are attracted to them, we can’t work out, but whether it is chemical, biological, psychological, whether it is lust, or love, the fact remains that there’s something about this person that makes you want to be with them…
So you go out on a date, and suddenly you are a couple! You’re in a relationship! Congratulations.
But now you have to relate!
The attraction has pulled you together, but now you need to live in a complex world, and suddenly love (or lust) starts takinf a back seat, as you start to find things in that person that you dislike!
They don’t do the washing up, they don’t have the same views as you, they drink too much, or not enough, they say things that annoy you, they are too serious, or too frivolous…
They like blue and you like green!
They like a beach holiday and you like the mountains.
They like the city, and you like the country.
They like running and you like sailing.
How many of you can ‘relate’ to what I’m saying?
This isn’t the person you feel in love with!
This is now a stranger, and so although you love them, you decide it is best you split up.
That’s not too mention anger, and violence that erupts when two people are not relating!
The problem is that you have never learned how to relate to others correctly.
We are all unique individuals and the fact that we have this ‘pair bonding’ is more a religious and cultural idea than a universal law, so it is not surprising that we fall out all the time.
If we are to try to live together without killing each other we need to find common ground, we need to empathise with the other, and show compassion at all times, but as most of us don’t know ourselves let alone others, how do we ever expect to get on?
We need to understand ourselves first and foremost.
We need to transcend, jealousy, anger, violence, and every other negative emotion to be able to relate to the other (that we love) before any relationship can meaningfully begin.
Do it now.
Or spend your life trying to understand why your ‘relationships’ aren’t working out!