A few years ago, a very passionate girlfriend of mine, told me she was going to, and I quote ‘Fuck The Crazy Out Of Me!!’
And over a year she had a good go!
The sex was great, but she didn’t manage to fuck the crazy out of me!
A few years previously, I decided to Write the crazy out of me…and wrote a book of personal deconstruction over 2,100 pages long! Did that work? Nope!
I also tried to sing the crazy out, and create music to get the crazy out, but to no avail…
Then I realised there was another way, to walk the crazy out…and so embarked on several mad walking projects, from being the first person to walk barefoot end to end in the uk, and walk back from Kathmandu to Canterbury, all mixed in with several Camino’s de Santiago, long distance hill walking, and mountain trekking, but that didn’t work either!
I tried heavy drinking, meditation, hypnotherapy, drugs (the illegal kind), meditation, isolation, ocean sailing, but nothing worked…
I was in turmoil.Why couldn’t I achieve balance….
Fortunately, I had a flash of insight a few weeks ago, and I realised that I wasn’t crazy, I probably had some deep seated emotional, ad psychological issues that hadn’t been resolved… And in fact I have been suffering with what they might call, ‘mental illness’ since I was a teenager, but it was never diagnosed or treated…
It could be adhd, bipolar, or some kind of anxiety, or personality disorder, but rather than going through years of analysis to find the root cause I decided there and then to deal with whatever I was experiencing on a daily basis.
I believe I am a compassionate person, who tries to help everyone he meets, but due to these difficulties ends up causing more problems for himself and everyone else, despite good intentions…
I am not sure if Iĺl always be this way, but one things for sure, I’ll be working every day to help others overcome their own issues in life, and help them become better versions of themselves. That’s the best I can do.
But, if you are experiencing anything that is causing you distress, speak out and get help immediately. Don’t wait. Don’t wait until it’s too late and someone has to offer to ‘fuck the crazy out of you!’
